From First To Last (a.k.a. It's Mo' Betta To Win)

~sigh. I knew going in it wouldn't be pretty. And you know, it's true what they say about visualization, believing in yourself, and training your head. If you go in with no expectations, you'll pretty much come out with nothing to show for it.

I told myself, "You haven't trained. You're not fast. You haven't raced enough this season. You're packing on 8+ extra pounds. But you are better technically." And guess what, I rode up those hills like I was towing a BOB trailer full of fat, 100lb, negative-thought gremlins. It's amazing I stayed upright on those hills given how slowly I was going. But damn, I was smooth on those downhills - tell yourself you can float down the nasty stuff Mount Snow throws at you, and you can.

I was in San Francisco the days before Nats. I was supposed to catch a 2:30pm flight at SFO to connect in Denver and get home around 1am Thursday morning. Around noon I discovered my flight was delayed, which meant a missed connection in Denver and a red-eye to make it home. I went through security and into the Red Carpet Club (one of the best presents S ever gave me) and explained my situation to the woman behind the counter. "I'll even take a red-eye from SFO to Boston! Any where on the east coast! I just have to get home!" Behind the counter, the woman is typing away, almost feels like she's IM'ing her friend, "We have a desperate one here! How much should we screw with her?!?!" Instead, she says to me, "I'm not supposed to do this but I put you on a direct flight to Boston. But it leaves in 30min so you better get to the gate!" Sweet! This meant I'd get in around 9:30pm. Yay!

We arrived at Mount Snow late afternoon on Thursday. Checked into the hotel, changed and went out for a pre-ride on the newly changed course. What a difference from last year's pre-ride in the dumping rain! The surface for the most part was dry, dusty, and loose. The first section (north loop) had been changed so there was no cut-through in the woods on single-track. This meant we had to climb a bit higher and the descent was on a service road. Not technical, kind of boring, a few drainage ditches to keep an eye on but otherwise a piece of cake.

Then the long climb to start the south loop. And it just seemed like it never ended. Instead of the hike-a-bike section in the woods, they routed us up a STEEP service road. Ouch. Then into some switchbacks in woods (yay, shade), then back on service roads, up, up, up. At a couple of the climbing sections there were 90 degree turns. You'd think you had reached the top, turn, and look up to more climbing. Finally, some downhill. Some of it was different from last year. In particular, the nasty stairs sections was gone. All in all, it felt very rideable. There was one section that caused me to pause, get off and watch some riders go by. Soon, I saw Libby zipping by me. Figured that was the line to take and tried to imitate her. I managed to get down but just not as fast. I think my extra 30 or so years on her make me a bit more cautious. ;-)

Throughout my pre-ride, my chain was skipping all over the cassette again. Unfortunately, the Shimano guys were gone by the time I made it back down so I did manage to get it fixed a couple of hours before my race on Friday (bent derailleur hanger. No idea how I did it.)

Lined up at the start with 10 other women, only one I recognized from local races. At the line, I was making my usual squint-into-the sun face that the announcer mistook for a smile. "Look at 804 folks! She's smiling! She won't be smiling soon, though, on that first leg burner granny-gear hill." No joke. I had an awesome start at the whistle and led the field up the first hill. That was the last time I saw first place. One by one, 6 women passed me on that first hill. I was determined not to get off and push. I'm still wondering about that strategy. One of my goals was to ride the whole race - no wussy girl pushing the bike up the hill or walking down the tricky downhill sections.

So I did manage to ride the entire first lap. The uphills were painful - just sat there, spinning the pedals and going about 4 mph. How lame. But the downhills - I flew (for me). Weighting and unweighting the bike, concentrating on picking a line that wouldn't kill me, so wrapped up in the trail I almost forgot I was racing. I love that zen feeling. At one point, I was congratulating myself on riding a particularily nasty section of trail that had me walking on the pre-ride, and managed to plant my front wheel. Uh oh. Here goes. Spectacular endo in the making. But somehow, I balanced on that front wheel, felt the rear of the bike swing around, I kicked it back with my left, unclipped foot, and shifted my weight back to get the rear wheel down. OMG! No endo! A proud moment despite being caused by my carelessness. Even the marshall was expecting carnage, "Nice recovery there!"

At the end of the first lap, I passed one woman. I was soon passed back on the first uphill of the second lap. Then passed by another. And one more. That last one we traded places back and forth for most of the second lap but she finally put down the hammer on the last long uphill and I never could catch her again. As she cruised up the hill, I gave up. (Meh - I hate admitting that.) I was hot, on the service road, sun beating down, pedaling hard, going about 3 mph now and not making up any ground on her. I got off and pushed. Wretched. Just wretched. :(

So I'm trying to take away some good from the race. I finished DFL. Ok, well maybe not last but the only woman behind me was a DNF. It's clear that I'm able to ride stuff that scared the shorts off me last year. That's a plus. The minus is I'm clearly in worse shape than I was last year. I hate that. It's also clear that I need to figure out a way to train better given my travel schedule if I'm hoping to do better at 'cross this season. But the real goodness: I'm still riding my bike. S couldn't compete this year, much to her frustration since they cut the beginners to only one lap. I remind myself of that and am thankful. Similarly, I saw pics of Sue Haywood being carried off after fracturing her leg and again, am happy I didn't bite it on the course.

Bottom line: I enjoyed myself but both S and I decided that it's mo' betta to win. ;-)

And speaking of winning, Mike took third the next day in his expert division. Scott took 4th in his division and Libby gets another stars and stripes jersey. NEBC Happiness! And, my MTB idol, Mary outsprinted Georgia the Luna Chick at the line to win the Pro women's race. Smokin' hot! Hoping she can get gold in Beijing in August.

A Long Time Ago On A Field Far, Far, Away

A couple of months ago, I received a flyer in the mail asking me to come back to Brown for 2007 Softball Alumnae Day. I probably get one of those every year along with invitations to golf outings, football tailgates, Homecoming, etc. The small print on this one caught my eye and shocked my brain.

If your eyes are getting old like mine and you're having trouble with the fine print, it says, "Come back to College Hill and celebrate the 25th anniversary of Brown Softball's first Ivy Championship" OMG! 25 YEARS! How is that possible?!?!? I did some quick math...how old am i now....less 25....geez! I was 19! Was I ever really 19?

Funny how something that happened 25 years ago can seem like yesterday. The tournament that year was on the fields outside Hahvahd Stadium (a few miles from where I sit right now. Never would have expected that 25 years ago!) That season, I learned how to contribute to a team without setting foot on the field - I had ripped my knee apart in a preseason game against URI and spent the season in a cast from my toes to my upper thigh.

Before that fateful pre-season game, we spent the night at one of my teammate's family vacation home on Narragansett Bay. I don't remember exactly how many beers I had that evening but I know that if I drank that many now, it would most likely kill me. Worse yet, on our way back to school and the game, we stopped at McDonalds. They were running a promotion where you got a scratch ticket so along with my burger, fries and coke, I won yet another batch of artery-clogging fries. Got another scratch ticket with those fries and won more food and so on and so on and so on. So, weighted like a tank out there at 2nd base, definitely not too quick on my feet I couldn't dodge the high slide that took me and my leg to the hospital. Most embarrassing part - admitting to the anesthesiologist how much I had eaten in the past 12 hours. 14 beers....1 quarter pounder....2 burgers....4 fries....kill me now.... The surgeon actually questioned whether or not he should operate. But I digress.

I was on crutches the entire season and wasn't quite sure what to do with myself . Studying more would have been the most beneficial choice but yeah, well, why study when I could go hang out with my my buddies. And so I did. Even though at first it killed me to be at practice, I went. I really couldn't even be helpful and chase down stray balls. I think toward the end I was able to hit grounders to my fellow infielders but really, I just hung out out on the bench, felt sorry for myself, and felt like a poser.

A baby-faced freshman took my position at second. And damn, if that wasn't the most amazing thing to watch. Michelle (a.k.a Dr. Dodge) was a slightly shy, kind of quiet braniac who was in Brown's accelerated med school program. We teased her mercilessly (still do, actually). And she kept coming back for more. And then at the Ivy Tournament - she actually made us shut up (not an easy thing to do with our group). Her stats:

• 2 Hits 3 RBIS against Hahvahd
• RBI insurance run against our dreaded nemesis, Princeton
• 2 for 3 and 4 RBIs against Yale
• 4 RBIs (with a 3 run double) against Dartmouth
• 3 hits against Cornell

The girl rocked! Solid on D as well. Smokin!


But best of all, throughout that entire season, when we were up at bat, she sat by my side on the bench, talked about what was going on out on the field and almost made me feel like it was my cleats that were getting dirty out there, not hers. I owe her big time for that. I didn't realize it until today. And wished I would have thought to thank her at the reunion.

It was absolutely a blast seeing everyone today. Those who didn't make it were missed and couldn't defend themselves as we told embarrassing stories. Amazing how little we've all changed, and all fell back into old jokes and roles. Celebrating that season made me remember that we were a pretty special group and I'm really glad I got to be a part of it - even if it was from the bench that one season.